Well, I had another not so brilliant night. Again I woke up around 1am and then was pretty restless the rest of the night. I feel pretty wiped out and need to get it together. I turned on the TV and found the Disney channel. Mickey Mouse and his friends were doing their gay little dance and I just lost it. The tears started and I am just a weepy mess. I need to get it out of my system and pull myself together. I have to push out all the negative thoughts that are creeping in, put my big girl panties on, and deal with it.

I just really miss Bill and Gwennie. I know they are perfectly fine, but right now I just feel pretty alone. I feel like the old lady in the group out here! I am the only one who is married and has a child and I don’t feel like I have anyone with whom I can relate to.

I know this is just a blip on the radar and I was warned by the girls at the Orlando studio at there would be days like this! I just didn’t expect it to hit me quite so soon.

OK, time to put on my make-up and my smile and suck it up. I can do this!

4 thoughts on “Waterfall

  1. Hugs to you. Big time. I understand the “old lady” feeling… And it’s hard to do something like this when you don’t have someone to hang out with afterwards.

    You can do this for sure, my friend. 🙂

  2. Sahara

    We are all thinking of you and while you my feel alone physically there are a lot of us out here rooting for you. Some times what you really want does not come easy but you have the steel in you to do this and you are going to make a great instructor.

    You know it’s the job that you want, so just relax a bit it’s not a competition, it’s a training course. You may not be the same as the other girls but you do have that special sparkle that life experience gives you. Stay strong Sahara, you can do it!

  3. Oh, I knew this would happen! I would feel the same way. I admire your courage. Just so ya know- I’m up late many nights so if you are feeling lonely and/or bored, just send me a text and we can chat a few. love ya!

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