Contemplating life and friendships.

Gosh, it’s been a long time since I have written. I have so many posts in my head.

I have so much to write about Gwennie… about her amazing progress at school… about her intellect, her kind heart, her talents, and sweet ways.

I have much to write about work… I am waiting on new photos of our amazing instructors and studio. There are some big changes going on and things to share.

I would like to write about my husband…. about his amazing new store and his unending impeccable hard-work etiquette.

But, whenever I am feeling down and a little sad… that is when I am truly inspired to write. I guess it is a little like therapy. We need to purge and let go to be able to move on.

I feel a little abandoned and cast-aside by some people I thought were friends. In hindsight, I realize that true friends stand beside you because they truly love and know you… but it doesn’t stop the pain from rising when people, due to certain circumstances, unceremoniously dump you. It doesn’t matter to what standards I hold others and myself; I cannot expect everyone else to think or feel the same way as me.

Needless to say, I am hurt and sad, and sometimes, downright lonely. I don’t really trust anyone and I always have an exit plan in my head. Always. Maybe that sounds bizarre to you. But I think you would be lying if you didn’t “get it” a little bit. Let’s face it… we all want to be loved and cherished.

I try to give out what I would like to receive. Am I perfect? Hell no. I know I have messed up many times in life, but I put them all down to experiences learned. But I do know that I have a good heart and I would do anything for anybody. If you cross me or hurt me repeatedly, then I have a very hard time forgiving you. I am a true Lioness. Mess with me and I will go into protective mode and shut you out. It isn’t because I don’t care about you, it’s because I need to protect my heart and the ones I love. Those of you, who really know me, understand I have been through A LOT in my life. Those of you who don’t may not understand why I am so sensitive. I’ll tell you one day if you will give me the chance. I would like to learn more about you too. Listening to one another’s trials and difficulties brings us more together, I believe.

I do believe that our upbringings and cultures play a lot into all of this. Before I go into anything, I just want to say that I am NOT putting down any culture, country, belief, or anything. I am just retailing my experience.

I have never felt truly at home here in the States. I love it here. I love this country, I love Florida and the weather, I love my husband and the good friends I have made… but it has been hard to make friends and still I find it very hard to truly trust any of them 100%. I feel like I constantly have to keep my guard up. I used to give so much and now I feel like it’s in my best interests to hold back…. Because no-one is capable of giving what I am used to giving. God, that sounds selfish, but I have friends from back home who I have known since I was tiny and we haven’t seen each other for years, yet we are still there for each other 150%. No question.

I feel like an outsider here. I don’t get the flakiness of “friendships”. How you can be the “in person” one month and then not the next. Why people can’t hold true to their word. Why I feel like I have to do all the work. If I don’t reach out to people, I don’t hear from them. It sucks.

And you know what? I know I am not the only person to feel like this. I know a lot of people feel this way. So what is it with our/this society these days? Are we so spoiled with the crazy technology available to us that we can’t physically communicate with people properly anymore?

Maybe.

And I know the people that will respond to this post. They will be the friends who live hundreds or thousands of miles away. And again, it will make me a little bit sad, because if I were a free bird, I would move back to be closer to these people. But I have made my family/home here and it is my responsibility to stay put.

I would love to hear how you feel. Be honest! Good or bad.

It’s snowing here in Wordpress Land!

And also on my blog! Cute!

Time for another update. We just enjoyed a couple of great weeks with my Mum here in town. It was so lovely to have her here and Gwennie just lapped her up.

Usually it is my poor Mum who comes over and gets sick (attack of the airplane germies), but she has since combated this by dosing up well with immune strengtheners and tonics. This time, it was both Bill and I who were poorly. Bill was fighting something off the first week when we had Thanksgiving. We hosted at our house and enjoyed having Bill’s Mum and one of Bill’s brothers, Bob and his family, come join us. Everyone mucked in and brought wonderful dishes of delights. It was a lovely afternoon.

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Mum, Gwennie, and I braved Epcot the next day. It was busy but bearable and we had a wonderful time. Epcot is definitely mine and Mum’s favourite of all the parks.

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On the Saturday, we braved Downtown Disney! That was a zoo! But we had fun and Gwennie loved going on the train and merry-go-round and we forced our way around the shops! We enjoyed a great lunch at Fulton’s Crab House.

Mum gets on really well with Ginny (Bill’s Mum) so they spent some time together whilst I was working and Gwennie was at school.

The second week of Mum’s visit, I got sick. I came down with some ghastly virus and was rendered out of action for the final weekend of Mum’s stay. I was so disappointed as we had plans to go to Animal Kingdom and/or Sea World. Alas, it was not to be.

Mum and I went to G’s school one morning and volunteered with her class… we had so much fun decorating pine cones for Christmas with the kids and making snowmen with the children’s painted white tootsies! Gwennie was very proud to show off her Granny!

All too soon, it was time to say goodbye, and Mum flew back to the UK on Wednesday evening. I know she was thrilled to be reunited with her little King Charles Cavalier, Alfie!

Bill came home with a Christmas tree this week. We have yet to decorate it, but that is the plan this weekend. Frank Frankypants (our Elf on the Shelf) has arrived and is up to his usual antics. This time he has a sidekick in tow… Buzz Lightyear!

After some discussion with Miss G, she is all signed up to start at the Orlando Ballet School in January. She is also going to be taking yoga classes at her school. She loves yoga and wants to incorporate it more into her regular schedule! She was a little hesitant at keeping up with the ballet, but when Bill and I talked to her about it, we discovered it was because she was finding it “tricky”. She has gone up a class this semester. She is the youngest in her class (she is 5 and the eldest is 8). She is learning a lot more theory now. Bill and I stressed the importance of not giving up on things just because they get tricky. We put it in context with her achievements such as writing and counting and Maths. It seemed to help and so she wanted to try a semester at OBS… AND practice yoga. Can’t complain with that! At least she loves to be active and do things which are good for her!

Right now we are looking forward to the holiday season. It’s a really busy time for Bill at work especially as he is putting together a new store at the same time. Hopefully it will all move along as smoothly as possible!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!

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Prancer!

It’s my birfday!!!

Goodbye Dirty Thirties, Hallo Naughty Forties! Hit me with your best shot!

Having an amazing time in Vegas with my darling Bill, dear Dad, and great friends! Being spoilt rotten and loving every minute!

I am looking forward to sharing all the gory details and photos very soon!

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Home again!

Had a wonderful time in Colorado! A really great few days! I absolutely loved skiing, as did Gwennie. Can’t believe that in just three days I was able to get up and ski on the top of the mountain! Such an achievement!

Had good news whilst I was away too…. I got a perfect score on my Anatomy & Physiology test! Phew! Such a relief!

Went back and had my first class this morning. God, it was hard work, but so good to be back and at it! Next week I will be back on track with my spotting of classes and working through all the set-ups. Bring it on!

Here are a few photos from our ski trip!


I'm skiing!
Little skier!
So cute!
Pizza!
Go pro!
Valentine's ski!