I have made it through my first official week of work as an instructor. I’m really enjoying work and the new challenges it brings!
Now I have the fun task of changing up my choreography and teaching new exercises! It certainly keeps me on my toes.
I feel like i never stop learning with The Bar Method! I love that.

We just had a training at our studio this past week for the next batch of instructors-in-training. My trainer, Jen Hertsenberg, came in to town to lead the proceedings. She really is phenomenal and had a great group of women to train. There were 4 girls from Orlando (all training in readiness for the new studio that will be opening in the Dr. Phillips area) and then 3 from out of town… San Diego, Covington, and Boston. Now the post-training fun and games begin!

In other news, we have finally had some rain. It has been so dry for months and months and this past week has been stormy and rainy. Trouble is, I am so spoilt living in the Sunshine State now that whenever we have more than 2 days of rain I get antsy!

G is enjoying her little summer day camps. She is excited about going up to the mountains to spend a few weeks with Grandma. She is such a joy to be around. I love my little buddy. I feel like I want to keep a video recorder constantly on her at the moment as we have the most amazing conversations and she comes out with both some of the funniest and most endearing things. I am always touched when people compliment me on her. The other day, a friend said to me (who doesn’t know about our past) “She is so cute! You guys cannot stop at just having her. You need to have more!” I smiled to myself and said in my heart “It’s not for the lack of trying.” There are days when my heart still aches. I often think about Henry and how he would be right now. I also wonder why I haven’t been able to get pregnant again. I can’t help but feel it is meant to be that way. I am such a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. Maybe we are not meant to have another child right now. Maybe we are not meant to have another child ever. All I know is that I just have to keep my focus on G. She is such an absolute blessing. I couldn’t wish for a sweeter, kinder, more loving, and special child. I feel guilty and selfish when I wish to have another baby. There are so many people out there who can’t even have one.

In honour of Earth Day I am sitting by the pool enjoying the glorious Florida sunshine. Gwennie is splashing in the pool pretending to be either a mermaid or a whale. I am constantly being requested to take a look at what she’s doing. I am amazed at her incessant chatter. It’s as though her little brain goes 100 miles an hour constantly. It can be a little tiring but she is so damned cute! Now that I am working I think I enjoy, and appreciate more, our times together. She really is such a joy and a blessing!

It’s been 2 1/2 years since we lost Henry and I have grown used to the fact that Gwennie may be our only one. I have stopped getting hopeful each month and am finally able to embrace each period with open arms rather than tears of frustration.

Not sure what happened this month but I ended up being four days late. I felt the old familiar creeping of hope in my veins. Today put a strong, resounding stop to that feeling. Am I disappointed? Yes, in a way, but in another I am not. I know that if G is our only child we will be able to give her so much more than we would if we had two children. I am such a firm believer of everything happening for a reason. I believe there is a greater plan for all of us. I want to try and go with the flow. Sometimes it is easier said than done. I can’t help but battle a feeling of loss. I am getting older and I know my time, in being able to have another child, is nearly done.

In other news, one of my knees is bothering me. After discussion with my peers it seems as though I am going too low in wide turned-out thigh. I did it 3 times in class last week and I am feeling it. I need to bring it on up. I feel it’s fortunate that I am getting a 3-day break from class to rest it a little.

I am teaching the last half of class! Which feels great! I feel like I am finally getting closer to certification. I am now working on the last section of exercises and then I can teach the first half of class… and then start setting up my community classes. Here I will be able to teach up to 6 students for free to help me get experience in teaching a complete class before being evaluated on my skills as an instructor. And of course I have the final exam to take! YIKES!

Our studio is holding a training for new instructors at the beginning of June. My trainer, Jen (from the San Marina studio) will be the trainer! I can’t wait to see her again and I am hoping she will have time to evaluate me for my certification. The timing would be perfect!

Fingers crossed that it all works out! I can’t wait to be on the schedule teaching!

In other news, I am feeling a bit down on myself. Now I know we can’t all look great in every single photo, but there have been several photos of myself of late where I have cringed at my appearance. I look heavier than I feel and wow, who is that old lady with all the lines and wrinkles? I feel like I need some divine intervention.

In better news, Gwennie got to dance with the Orlando Magic Dancers Friday night! One of my co-workers at The Bar method is the dance captain for the dancers and she asked Gwennie to go join them. Sadly, Kendra sprained her ankle badly and was unable to perform, but Gwennie still went and danced with Emmy and had a wonderful night! I was amazed at how unfazed she was with all the crowds and noise… and the fact that she was up way past her bedtime. She was a little star and a natural born performer. We were so proud of her!