In honour of Earth Day I am sitting by the pool enjoying the glorious Florida sunshine. Gwennie is splashing in the pool pretending to be either a mermaid or a whale. I am constantly being requested to take a look at what she’s doing. I am amazed at her incessant chatter. It’s as though her little brain goes 100 miles an hour constantly. It can be a little tiring but she is so damned cute! Now that I am working I think I enjoy, and appreciate more, our times together. She really is such a joy and a blessing!
It’s been 2 1/2 years since we lost Henry and I have grown used to the fact that Gwennie may be our only one. I have stopped getting hopeful each month and am finally able to embrace each period with open arms rather than tears of frustration.
Not sure what happened this month but I ended up being four days late. I felt the old familiar creeping of hope in my veins. Today put a strong, resounding stop to that feeling. Am I disappointed? Yes, in a way, but in another I am not. I know that if G is our only child we will be able to give her so much more than we would if we had two children. I am such a firm believer of everything happening for a reason. I believe there is a greater plan for all of us. I want to try and go with the flow. Sometimes it is easier said than done. I can’t help but battle a feeling of loss. I am getting older and I know my time, in being able to have another child, is nearly done.
In other news, one of my knees is bothering me. After discussion with my peers it seems as though I am going too low in wide turned-out thigh. I did it 3 times in class last week and I am feeling it. I need to bring it on up. I feel it’s fortunate that I am getting a 3-day break from class to rest it a little.